


Echo

by ChickenXD



Category: Hatoful Kareshi | Hatoful Boyfriend
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-07-24 04:31:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7493895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChickenXD/pseuds/ChickenXD
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A day in life of Iwamine Shuu and a lot of reminiscing about Ryuuji too I guess<br/>based on this (http://thecrowsart.tumblr.com/post/147222066816/some-ideas-about-shuu)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Echo

Waking up is tiring. 

Everyday, just waking up to the cold, sinking feeling in his heart,

That he’s still here, still alive, and once again all alone. 

 

He’s become sort of a mechanical doll. 

Wake up, brush teeth, shower, get changed. Go to the infirmary. 

Almost every day has been the same – and slowly, he started simply focusing on getting from one task to the next without questioning it. 

It almost felt like he was just putting a show, and the part he has to play is Dr. Iwamine Shuu, the infirmary doctor at St. Pigeonation’s. 

 

As he tightened the purple tie around his neck to the point of choking himself, then looking into the mirror –

There he is, Dr. Iwamine Shuu. 

 

_ “I’m giving you this tie, Isa-kun! Do you know how to tie it? I can teach you! Actually I’m not that good at tying it either, since my wife usually does it for me…” _

_ “Anyway, look! It’s the same pattern as mine! It’s because I want you to exceed me, Isa-kun! Maybe one day you’ll be the one to lead this department!” _

 

It’s Iwamine. Not Isa. 

He had to remind himself, once again. 

  
  


“Good morning, Iwamine-sensei!”

_ “Good morning, Isa-kun!” _

He turned to the cheerful voice calling him. Ryouta was at the door, smiling sheepishly. 

“Hello, Mr. Kawara,” Shuu replied, feeling a knot form in his chest, “Here for your medication?”

“Yes…”

Shuu quickly opened the second drawer, taking out the pill tube and opening it. He took a piece of tissue, and then placed two white pills on it. All while trying to avoid eye contact with Ryouta. 

“I hope you’re not here just to skip class.”

“Ah, of course not! I mean, it’s independent study time right now, but…”

Shuu sighed, “Drink your medicines and go back to class.”

“Y… yes!”

 

So Ryouta took his medicines, and left. 

 

It was still pretty difficult for him to look at Ryouta, simply because he looked like his father.

...or maybe not. Maybe there’s a deeper, darker reason, maybe it was spite. 

Technically it isn’t Ryouta’s fault, but Shuu couldn’t help it. 

Or maybe he was just envious. 

 

“Hello there, Iwamine-sensei!”

Yuuya walked into the infirmary, carefree as usual. Shuu glanced at him for a second before turning back to his work. 

“There you are, Sakazaki.” 

“No serious incidents or injuries yet, I see!” Yuuya remarked at the empty infirmary – “Have you eaten lunch?”

“I’m not hungry yet.”

“Well, don’t forget to eat later, then!”

_ “Don’t forget to eat, Isa-kun!” _

Shuu abruptly looked up from his paper, trying to find the source of that voice –

But nobody else was in the room save for him and Yuuya – who was now giving him a funny look. 

“Iwamine-sensei, are you okay?”

“No” would be the appropriate answer, but Shuu couldn’t think of a time when the answer would be “yes” either. 

Maybe he too had become used to this empty, lonely feeling. 

“...have you seen Tosaka?” Shuu asked instead. 

“I saw her and Kawara talking to Nanaki-sensei earlier,” Yuuya replied, “Should I call her?”

“Leave her be,” Shuu replied, “Please change the bedsheets. I believe Akagi bled all over it earlier.”

 

Looking at himself right now,Shuu wasn’t sure what to call it. 

Is he truly being alive?

Or is he simply existing, functioning without a purpose?

If he was to die right here, right now, what would change?

Absolutely nothing. In fact, he could think of a few people who would benefit from his death. 

If waking up is tiring and living is pain, why bother continuing to exist? 

It’s not like there’s anything or anyone left for him in this world. Everything is simply a shadow of the past. 

 

It’s all his fault. 

If only he was still here.

But perhaps that’s only wishful thinking. Perhaps, if he was still here, nothing would’ve changed anyway. 

 

Shuu pressed his hand at the reflection in the mirror –

That person in the mirror is not him. 

That boy with eyes brighter than his, smile more genuine than his –

It’s Iwamine, not Isa. 

Look at what a miserable person you’ve become. 

 

Holding so desperately to a piece of the past that can never return,

Lamenting what will never be,

What for?

Isn’t it better to disappear and let everything disappear along with him?

 

_ “Isa-kun, one day you’ll grow up to be a great scientist too! So don’t forget to take care of yourself!” _

 

The past echoes in his head, reverberating endlessly, like an eternal torture. 

 

“You can’t die yet,” he said, 

“There’s still something you need to do.”


End file.
